


An Unlikely Alliance

by Steakinmyheart



Category: Invader Zim
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-03-14
Updated: 2018-03-14
Packaged: 2019-03-31 04:20:45
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 9,619
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13967211
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Steakinmyheart/pseuds/Steakinmyheart
Summary: This takes place around jr. high for Zim and the gang. Dib is crazy, Gaz is angry, and Zim is curious and...lonely? We'll see where that leads him!





	1. Curiosity killed the Alien

**Author's Note:**

> Hey! Welcome to my first fic on this site :D This has just been sitting on my pc accumulating pages, getting no reads except from me. So I figured I'd change that and see if anyone else enjoys reading this :3 Idk how much I'll post at a time and this IS a WIP, but I have high hopes. Anyways, ENJOY! \\(^_^)/

A small, violet-haired girl walked slowly down a grungy school hallway. Her bathroom break-time was up. She hadn’t finished her game completely, but she had made some progress. Gaz never dreamed of actually using the restroom when she took a bathroom break. She just got tired of Ms. Bitters’ grating voice against her ear drums and went to the bathroom to find some solace.

Her train of thought was broken when she heard a loud noise coming from one of the filthier boys’ bathrooms. It wasn’t a normal bathroom noise. This was like a cry of anger. Only two people she knew would do that; her brother or his nemesis, Zim. She knew the voice wasn’t her brother’s; growing up with him she had caused that noise many times. No. This voice was different. “WHY MUST THEY TORMENT ZIM!?” she heard from the doorway. She snarled. His voice was loud and stupid. Sighing, Gaz pushed open the door. She knew nobody else would be in there if Zim was—hearing screaming in the next stall wasn’t conductive to a pleasant bathroom break—and she wanted him to shut up.

As she entered the bathroom she heard angry sobbing, and a small pang of sympathy hit her. She knew how cruel kids could be—even if some people deserved to be mocked. She frowned and shook her head as if to clear these sympathetic thoughts away. He was a psychotic alien, after all. “Zim,” she said with her normal irritated, small voice, “stop.” And he did. He opened the stall he was in and peeked out, his contacts oddly placed and his face wet with alien tears. “Gaz-human? What are YOU doing in here? This is the boys’ room, is it not?” His face suddenly struck with concern. Gaz rolled her eyes. “Yes, Zim, it is. Now stop crying or whatever and go back to class.” If she had to return to the misery of class, so did Zim. He looked at her with pitiful and confused eyes before frowning and saying “But YOU are not a boy! And the mighty ZIM does not cry! … My contacts are just itchy.” Gaz sighed and opened her eyes wider so he could see her glaring at him. But he stayed in his position to her surprise. She would have to work a little harder. This was at least more interesting than going back to class.

“Look, Zim. I know these kids can be mean. Especially if you look and act like a freak.” Gaz added angrily as she shifted her weight, leaning against the door. He glared at her. “They’re the freaks, foolish worm-baby, what with their revolting food, ugly faces, and screeching voices.” Gaz smirked to herself about that last one. Like he was one to talk… “You’re not the only one they pick on Zim.” Gaz let slip. “Just ignore it. They’re just stupid. It’s weakness to let them get to you.” Zim looked down. “But I am superior!” he shouted. “They should be at my feet begging for mercy—not sneering at me like I’m dookey.” He looked back at Gaz with a sad curiosity in his eyes. “How do you ignore it, Gaz-human: the mockery; the insults?” Gaz felt her insides burning. She had no real answer, so she made one up. “Nobody dares to mock me.” And she walked out and headed back to class.

Zim did not return to class, but he was in the cafeteria when the bell rang for lunch. He seemed back to normal. Maybe a bit angrier, but angry was pretty normal for the little green alien. He was sitting alone at a table poking nervously at the “food” on his lunch tray. Gaz scoured the lunch room, searching for a peaceful place to sit so she could play more of her game. Alas, all the tables seemed to include people she detested. Dib waved to her from a table not too far away. He was almost completely alone. She sighed. Like she thought, there was someone at every table she detested. She ignored her brother and shrugged to herself as she headed towards the alien. Just this once, she would sit by the slightly less annoying Zim. Maybe he would ignore her and she could play her game. She knew if she sat by Dib he would be pestering her about why Zim had been in the bathroom so long before it was even lunch time.

“WHO DARES—oh it’s you Gaz-human.” Zim began as he saw someone was sitting at his table. After this greeting, he did as she had predicted; he remained silent and let her play her Game Slave. Even though he was silent, she could feel his gaze. She wasn’t sure why he was looking at her but she was determined to ignore it until— “GAME OVER” her game announced as she died. She turned to look at Zim out of the corner of her eye. He was still staring. “Either you tell me what you want, Zim, or look somewhere else before I tear out your eyeballs and make you eat them.” She growled angrily. He had distracted her and made her lose. “Why do you play that?” he asked quietly. She furrowed her eyebrows. That wasn’t anything like what she had expected to come out of his stupid face.”Um… I like it?” she answered. He nodded slowly before he opened his mouth again. “Why?” “Because it’s fun; I like the challenge, and killing stuff always makes me feel better.” She answered much more quickly. “I have never played a video game. At least not what is considered such on this planet.” Zim said thoughtfully. Gaz opened her eyes in horror. How could anyone say such a thing!

She grumbled as he sighed almost sadly. “Here,” She said, handing the GS2 to him. “You can try it until lunch is over. And if you break it or so much as leave a funny smell on it I will unleash a world of nightmares upon you that your brain won’t even be able to comprehend.” He smiled and grabbed the game. “Now, filthy human how do I work this doo-hickey?” She hit her forehead with her hand and showed him how to play. She showed him what buttons did what and which enemies to kill with what combos. She saw him getting excited as he began to play. “This reminds me of some of the simulations I did as a smeet on Irk—but less realistic and not as complex as those of course.” he said happily, destroying pixilated pig-zombies.

“Thank you, filthy Gaz-human.” Zim said, handing back her GS2 as the lunch bell sounded again. “It was very interesting.” “Uh, yeah. Sure.” She said, accepting the game and stuffing it back into her bag. “Perhaps some time the mighty ZIM can show you a real game.” Gaz raised an eyebrow. “At my base.” He said proudly. “I have the simulations uploaded if you ever wish to test your skills.” She turned to walk to her next class. “Unless you’re too cowardly.” he whispered. Gaz’s eyes bulged open and she turned back to him and grabbed him by his collar. “I am the best. Gamer. EVER.” She said in a quiet growl. Zim seemed almost unimpressed however and smirked. “Am I to take that as a yes?” He chuckled darkly and removed her hand from his shirt and walked to class, not waiting for her answer. “Tomorrow, after school!” He shouted. Gaz just stood where he had left her. What just happened? She turned and stormed to class. _Oh it is so on._ She thought to herself. She was going to brutally defeat Zim in whatever simulator he had in mind. How could she lose? She was the best.  



	2. The Lab

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Gaz gets a closer look at Zim's 'house' and tech and almost gets into a sticky situation with a very crazy SIR unit ;D

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I feel like this chapter is a little short, but the next one should make up for it. Hope you like it!

While her lunch had been far more peaceful without the annoying presence of her brother, Gaz had to pay for it after school when Dib incessantly bugged her about where she sat at lunch and next to whom. “Let it go, Dib.” She growled. “Your face was stupid. I didn’t want to have to look at it.” Dib frowned. “But…my face always looks like this, Gaz. And you normally don’t mind sitting beside me…were you spying for me? What did Zim say? Did he hurt you?” Gaz grabbed him by his shirt collar. “He did nothing. He just wanted to see how the GS2 worked.”

“Aha!” Dib screamed, escaping his sister’s clutches. “He probably just wanted to see if he could use it as some kind of mind control device.” _Honestly, if Zim thought of that it might actually work_ , thought Gaz, _too bad he’s not that bright._ “No. I think he just wanted to play it.” She said to her brother and walked home without another word. She went up to her room after waving to her dad’s floating head recording and flopped on her bed. She _had_ to see what Zim’s simulator was like, but how would she avoid her idiot brother from butting his fat head in? Eventually she concocted a plan.

*****

The next morning Gaz got up early to prepare for her after school plans. She bugged Dib’s backpack so she could know where he was at all times, programmed her stuffed animals to hunt Dib down using the bug she planted and attack him if she commanded it remotely, then took a shower and put on clean clothes. She glanced over her homework to make sure it had all been done properly the night before, and then went to get some breakfast and wake Dib up.

School seemed to take especially long for Gaz that day. All she wanted was to destroy Zim at whatever game he had in mind. Her fingers were twitching all day, as if practicing for later. When she finally was allowed to leave the Skool building, she made sure she was the first out the door. She had told Dib she would be going to someone’s house to work on a school project; she knew he’d never believe her if she said she was going to a friend’s house. She didn’t have any. They were all just puny, weak-minded children.

Since Dib was taken care of, she figured she had better head to Zim’s house before Dib could see where she was headed. As she approached Zim’s “house” she stopped. She had seen her brother get zapped by those gnomes before and she wasn’t sure if Zim had them active at the moment. She heard a squeal come from inside the house, however, so she pushed on and through the front door and past the freaky robot parents. Her eyes met quite an unusual sight. Gir was upside down on the ceiling, held in place by syrup and waffles. It was filthy and horrifying and she was tempted to just turn around and leave right there.

 She turned and was going to open the door to leave when it opened and Zim crashed into her. They knocked heads and both fell. “Gir,” Zim shouted, rubbing the sore lump on his head as he pushed himself off Gaz and the floor, “Why is the Gaz-human in our base?! And WHY ARE THERE WAFFLES ON THE CEILING!?”  He screamed as a pile of waffles slid from the ceiling and landed on him, pinning him to the floor once more. Gaz held her head where the alien had smacked into it and sat up on the floor while Zim screamed at Gir.

Was it really worth all this to kick his butt at some game? Some…alien…game she’d never seen before? Ugh. Fine. Just this once. “Gir!” Gaz called. “Yeeeeees?” Gir said happily from the ceiling. “Get down here and clean Zim up so I may destroy him at his simulator.” Gir saluted and his normally happy blue lights turned red and he jumped down and vacuumed up the waffle pile off the crushed and slightly sizzling alien. The robot’s eyes turned blue again as he said “but master always wins. He’s undefeated!” Gaz narrowed her eyes. “I WILL destroy him.” Gir shrugged and smiled as he pulled a stuffed piggy out of his head, “Okay crazy Gazzy. Have fun!”

The little alien stood up when able and rushed to clean himself off. Gaz looked and saw him jump in the trash can and she shook her head. _Alien game. I get to play an alien game,_ she had to keep reminding herself as she slowly followed after him. She knew the trash can was a secret way that led to the depths of Zim’s base, but it was still stupid. She jumped in feet first and after sliding for a few minutes she landed in a huge room covered in purple wires and coils. She followed the sound of angry muttering and came across Zim struggling to get his syrup-covered tunic off in a side room which had a tube-like enclosure nearby. As soon as he had peeled it off along with his gloves and boots he jumped underneath it and it dropped and a computer voice said “SANITIZING. PLEASE STAND BY.” When it opened he was not only clean, but in a fresh set of clothes. Gaz waited a moment for Zim to join her and he lead the way to the training room.

Gaz had never seen the alien shirtless. It was strange; he had no nipples or belly button—just flat, smooth skin and several curves where bones and muscle seemed to be underneath. She smirked; Dib would be so jealous. He wanted nothing more than to dissect the alien. His dream was to get Zim on an autopsy table and cut him open. Zim knew this though, since Dib would tell him every chance he got.

She returned her focus to the task at hand and found herself in a large metal room that resembled something like a shooting range, but more open and there were no targets she could see. A grin crawled across Zim’s face as he saw Gaz’s eyes open wide to take in all of the room and its impressive tech. When her eyes returned to their normal shape (nearly closed) she turned to Zim and asked, “So, where is this simulator?” He smirked with satisfaction as he pointed a gloved finger to a machine unlike anything Gaz had yet seen.

Before her was an odd contraption. It was like a giant computer but round and attached to it were several helmets with gloves and boots. “There are several simulators,” Zim said. “Normally I start my training with this one and then move to the blasting arena. Here,” he handed her a helmet, “put these on. The system uses these to control your movements inside the simulator. When you put the helmet on and the system is on, you will be in something of a virtual reality. But careful, don’t die in the game or you will die out here!” Gaz opened one eye, suspicious. “Really?” she asked. Zim cackled. “Of course not, foolish Gaz-human! The Irkens are not stupid! It is training, after all. You will however feel pain when attacked or killed. We needed some reason to not want to get hit, so you will be mildly electrocuted and the force will get stronger the more you are hit.” Gaz seemed impressed. “There will be no permanent damage, but it will not feel pleasant. Are you still sure you want to do this?” She glared at Zim and pulled on the gloves and boots. “I will destroy you, Zim.” She said before putting the helmet on.

Zim smiled fiendishly; it had been a long time since anyone had challenged him to this. Gaz would be a worthy opponent if she was anything like when she had fought him inside Dib with the micro robots. He hoped he wouldn’t lose though. He took no pleasure in being electrocuted—even though he had become rather numb to it. He didn’t think it was good for his Pak either. He set up the system and enemies and picked a terrain neither he nor Gaz were very familiar with and then put on his suit and launched the simulation.


	3. The Simulation

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Gaz and Zim have like the craziest game of capture-the-flag ever.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This whole simulation took forever to come to me, but when it did it just wouldn't stop xD I hope it's clear enough of a description. It was really vivid in my head.

When Gaz could finally see, she was in a very strange place—definitely not anywhere on Earth. “This is the planet Splorch,” Zim said walking up next to her, “home of the flesh eating rat-people. It seems nicer than I imagined. An acquaintance of mine, Skoodge, was sent here. I wonder how he is…” Gaz grunted. It was definitely interesting scenery, but she wouldn’t call it ‘nice.’ All the rocks seemed sharp and everything was a dark color—even the sky was dark purple. “So…” Gaz started, “what now?” Zim hit his head with his palm, “Ah yes! This way. I must explain the objective.” And with that he led her down a hill into a sort of valley with ominous looking vegetation.

“The objective,” Zim explained, “is to take over this planet.” Gaz’s eyes widened. “In what amount of time?” she asked. “You will have—oh let’s say—ten minutes! That should be sufficient time.” She laughed. It startled Zim almost—he had only heard her laugh a few times…and it was kind of creepy. “What is it, human?” He inquired. “It’s just, you’ve been on my planet for years, Zim, and you didn't take over anything.” Zim frowned and stomped angrily. “Well, maybe I would if my Tallest had given me sufficient weaponry and an army! Plus they didn’t actually tell me to take over…they just told me to come here on a secret mission. I think they meant reconnaissance, but they still haven’t told me…but I shall be prepared to rule this rock once I get the OK…” he trailed off as he saw Gaz begin to walk away. She turned around. “So do we get armies and weapons?” She almost sounded excited. Zim shrugged, “Well, yes. That’s what Irken invaders are trained for. Why would this not be a part of the training? You will be expected to lead your troops in and take over the capital. As soon as you have the leader, call it in and the Irken armada will land…and you’ll win! You won’t of course, because that privilege will go to me. VICTORY! VICTORY FOR ZIM!”

“Cool.” Said Gaz, unshaken by Zim’s outburst. “So, where is all this stuff?” Zim pulled out a communicator from his Pak and said, “Initiate invader sequence.” And suddenly SIR bots, high tech weapons, and simulated Irkens formed around the two. “Now, since we are competing, we shall have different colored teams. My team shall be red, and your team may be…purple?” Gaz tried with difficulty to not show her excitement. She was almost giddy! This was like extreme virtual capture the flag! “Works for me.” She said in her monotone voice as half the equipment and soldiers uniforms turned purple and the other half turned red. Purple was of course her favorite color, but Zim didn’t need to know that—he had guessed it was so, but she could pretend he was clueless. It made more sense that way.

“Well,” Zim clapped his hands together, “shall we begin? Once a team has left this valley, the timer begins. If you die, you lose. If I win, you lose. Prepare yourself, little Gaz.” And with a teasing smile he turned and marched to his group and began giving orders and assigning jobs. Gaz turned around to see all her army looking at her expectantly. “Oh boy…” she muttered and moved to approach them.

*****

 

Eventually she was ready. She was certainly no invader—Zim and his squad had left two` minutes ago—but she was proud of her plan and was hopeful for success. She figured she and a small group would stealthily sneak in and then when they had stormed the main area, they could unlock the gates and doors and then bring in the larger weapons, making it all a faster job. As her army was leaving the valley, they were teleported right near the capitol. She used one of the strange purple disguise machines so her and her small group would be less noticeable. She couldn’t believe Zim had such a crappy disguise on Earth when this device had so much potential. Her team was basically invisible.

Since Zim’s group had a slight head start, Gaz was in a bit of a rush. She and her team hurried invisibly through the streets. When they reached the main building of the capitol, Gaz looked around. It somewhat reminded her of the Vatican within Rome mixed with the White House; enormous walls surrounding the whole thing with a large dome in the center of the building—only unlike either of those buildings, this one was dark red and spiky everywhere.

She climbed a nearby building and signaled for one of her soldiers to come to her. She dug through the soldier’s Pak and found it was equipped with a jetpack. Gaz grabbed the simulated alien’s hand and signaled her troop to rocket to the capitol building. They did and landed on the top of the huge wall. There was still no way she could find inside, but they crept on. They encountered a giant rat-person sniffing around, patrolling the wall, but Gaz killed it with one of the Irken weapons, which reminded her of a laser crossbow, before it could detect them. She smiled; win or lose this was going to be fun.

She wondered if she could use a laser to slice a hole in the wall of the building. This would save her group the time of finding an actual door to this huge structure… again she called to one of her Irkens and looked through its Pak. She pulled out a laser sword and a pair of x-ray goggles. Examining the exterior of the building, Gaz saw where the closest floor was and used the laser sword to cut herself a hole to climb through. She decided to keep the laser sword but had to return the goggles since they were attached to the Irken’s Pak. The inside of the building was even darker than outside. The walls and ceiling were black and the floor was dark red. There were strange gems in the ceiling which lit the way—each direction seeming to be a different color. Gaz would have felt like she was inside a very strange cave or something if there weren’t large metal doors lining the halls. When her team was all inside, Gaz placed a small projector on the floor so it looked like the wall was still in place and proceeded to creep down the corridor; the less attention drawn to them, the quicker she could conquer this place. She thought if this was what Irkens did all the time, she might’ve enjoyed being one. Too bad their leaders seemed so foolish. Under a rule like hers, perhaps they could conquer the universe…

Gaz was yanked out of her thoughts by the sound of a rat screeching. She whirled around but couldn’t see any enemy. Then suddenly the sound stopped. _Zim!_ She thought. She motioned for her squad to pick up the pace. Zim was close. Closer than her! The small girl refused to let Zim win this. She was the best! Forget unlocking the gates for more weapons, she would handle the leader herself!

She stealthily raced along, occasionally using one of her soldier’s x-ray goggles to see where to go next. Slowly they got closer and closer to the top floor—surely the leader must be there. Gaz led her troop through the next hallway and on the ground in front of her, lay a heap surrounded with a glistening puddle. She squinted and realized it was another rat creature. It appeared to have been stabbed by something incredibly sharp in the throat. The girl carefully stepped around the mess and continued. Zim was too fast. She needed to hurry. Obviously the alien didn’t care about discretion at this point.

She began sprinting and her troop followed close behind. They rushed through hall after hall. Gaz noticed there was an increasing lack of bodies. Perhaps Zim went a different way. She could beat him! She was certain this was faster! She pulled out her laser sword as she heard a large rat squeaking and sliced it in half. She saw more and slashed away, severing limbs and decapitating heads as she went, her aliens killing anything she left alive.

A few minutes later, the Purple team came to an enormous metal door bolted shut. There was a white metal plate on the door with some scratches like rat claws…could this be the room? Gaz thrust her laser sword through the side of the wall, cutting the bolts on the door. She proceeded to kick the door down. There, a rat stood, with its back to her. She eyed it suspiciously. It moved further away from her towards another doorway. “Not so fast.” Gaz snarled. She was about to lunge at the beast, when she heard a chuckle. She opened one eye. Could these monsters speak? The girl hadn’t given it much thought. But to her horror, the laugh grew louder and her stomach dropped.

The large rat crumpled to the ground and a small, blood-spattered alien, elevated by his robotic legs, was revealed as he released the limp body. Zim laughed louder, and almost crazier than usual as his team appeared out of the shadows. They grabbed Gaz’s teammates and she watched, mouth agape, as they were all killed violently. “The Armada has been called. You lose, little Gaz-human.” She turned quickly to find Zim directly in front of her, grinning sadistically as he swung a razor-thin sword toward her. The last thing she saw was her blood hitting Zim’s face and feeling a sharp, stinging pain in her throat.


	4. The Blasting Arena

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Gaz gets to play with some of Zim's favorite toys

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I can't decide if the chapters are too short? Too long? Feedback is welcome :) Enjoy!

Gasping for air, Gaz opened her eyes to see she was back in Zim’s lab. “Wasn’t that fun?” Zim asked, smiling happily as he offered her a hand up. She was on the floor. Hitting his hand away, the small girl picked herself up. “Okay. You’re not bad.” Gaz admitted. Zim puffed out his chest proudly. “I was trained to be an invader since birth. There was no way I could lose. But for a smelly worm baby you did not do too terribly either.” Gaz rolled her eyes. “Well now that I know how to do it, next time we play you’re going down. Oh and Zim,” She walked toward the green alien, “this is for KILLING me!” and she punched him in the face, knocking him to the floor. He looked surprised when he saw her fist flying at him, but he knew it was deserved; he would’ve won even if he hadn’t killed her—he had just been in the zone at that point and really wanted to see her die.

Zim picked himself off the ground with his tech legs and chuckled. “I may have been a tad overenthusiastic. But it wouldn’t be as satisfying without the game ending in total destruction.” Gaz shrugged. She understood. She would’ve done the same. But that electric shock was no small thing. And she needed to hurt him back at least a little. “So, was that it or is there more?” Gaz almost had a trace of a smile as she asked. Painful or not this might be the greatest time of her life and she was not ready for it to end!

The Irken eyed her, making sure she was done hurting him before he pressed a large blue button on the wall. They were in the large, shooting range-like area from before, but now a clear counter came down, running the whole width before the area behind it and clear walls separating it into four rows. Zim stepped into one row in front of the counter and Gaz stepped into the one on his left. “Behold! The blasting arena! This is where I test my aim with various weapons. Some are Irken, and some are of the planets we took over. Sometimes we have to figure out the true potential for alien weapons before we can modify them.” Gaz looked thoughtful. “So it’s like a shooting range?” Zim shrugged. “Do you have any guns here from this planet?” She asked. “Not really. I’ve looked at them, but they’re quite primitive still. Feel free to pick any weapon you see and test it.” Zim pulled down another large, transparent screen. “Press one of these to choose a weapon, press one of these as a target, and then press this for the precaution suggested. Then you’re good!”

Zim showed her by selecting a small picture of a sword thing, then a strange scarecrow-like target. A picture of metal armor appeared in the recommended precaution area and he tapped it. A tube dropped on him and when it lifted he was in full armor and holding the sword. She recognized it as like the one he used to kill her in the simulation. “Zim, what is that exactly?” He turned to her as the target popped up before him and the clear counter blocking his way dropped. He swished the thing nonchalantly towards the target and it fell in half—even cutting the wood it stood on cleanly. “Well, I call it the Razor sword. It is the thinnest sword in the galaxy, forged by a strange lava-dwelling people on the planet Infernio.” He twirled it around and said, “It is also the strongest metal discovered by my people so far. So even though it is barely visible it is so thin, it is practically unbreakable.” He again lunged at the target, cutting the rest of it to tiny pieces.

Gaz was impressed. She wanted one of those Razor swords. It was beautiful. But the other choices shown her were too tempting. She was about to choose a large sniper-looking weapon when her bag started beeping. She groaned. Of course Dib would ruin everything. She checked her Dib tracker. Sure enough, her brother was heading towards the alien’s house. She couldn’t let him find her here. She’d never hear the end of it! “Zim!” she tapped the clear wall between them. He turned to her quizzically. “I have to go now. My idiot brother will be here soon and he’ll think we’re plotting or something if he finds out I’m here.” Zim looked almost disappointed. It had been too long since he had any kind of half-intelligent conversation with someone and he forgot how much he enjoyed it. “The Dib stink wouldn’t need to know you are here. He has never gotten this far in my lab before.” He tried to persuade her. She shook her head. “No, I should go anyway. Do you have like a secret exit I can use?” Zim sighed. “Yes. I’ll show you the way.” He turned and placed his Razor sword on the counter where it was sucked up by the tube.

The little alien marched down a dark hallway with Gaz behind him. “Hey Gazzy!” Gir’s head popped out of a hatch in one of the walls and he dropped to the floor. She remained silent. “Sooooo how bad did master beat you?” the robot asked, sticking its tongue out slightly. Gaz growled. “That bad huh?” Gir giggled and picked up a stuffed piggy that was stashed away in a corner and proceeded to squeeze it and laugh.

When they reached the end of the hall, Zim reached for a lever. He stopped however and turned to the girl. “If you tell the Dib-worm of this secret, I may feel the need to show you how it feels in real life to be cut with the Razor sword.” He glared at her very seriously. Gaz sighed. “I won’t tell my loser brother, okay?” she hesitated for a moment before grabbing Zim by his collar and pulling him close so their foreheads were almost touching, “and don’t ever threaten me.” and she released his shirt. Zim smiled sheepishly and nodded. He typed in a password in Irken carefully so Gaz wouldn’t see it and pulled the lever. A door opened above it into another door which he threw open and sunlight poured in the room.

“But one more question.” Zim turned back to look at Gaz.

“Yes, filthy human?”

“When can I get a rematch?” Again Gaz allowed herself a small, evil smile.

Zim grinned. “I’ll let you know. But you should hurry, Dib-sister. The Dib-stink has triggered my gnome guards. They can stall him for a few more minutes, but I really should deal with him myself.” Gaz followed him up and out of the ground. She turned, confused by her surroundings. The second door had apparently been a part of the sidewalk. “I believe your dwelling is that direction from here. Only a few blocks I think.” A gloved claw pointed the girl towards her house. She nodded and started heading in that direction. “Oh and Gaz-human,” She stopped. “I will wait with great anticipation for our rematch.”

“You will feel my doom next time, Zim. Count on it.” The girl readjusted her backpack and headed home.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> incidentally, I would also enjoy a Razor sword. ;D


	5. The Waiting

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Dib is mistaken for a burrito and Gaz gets some of Bloaty's Pizza

When Gaz got home, she tossed her backpack on her bed and then flopped down beside it. It had been a long day, and she really should do some of the homework she had said she was going to do, but she figured that could wait, so she took her GS3 out of her backpack instead. She turned it on, but she missed Zim’s simulator. This may as well have been an etch-a-sketch compared to that beautiful machine. She _had_ to see it again. Gaz grumbled. She’d play an online game instead; her clan needed her, after all.

After an hour or so, Gaz heard Dib return home. She didn’t bother taking off her headset, but she continued to listen for him. Instead of hearing him approach, however, she smelled him—burnt hair and dirt mostly. She made a little gag noise and plugged her nose before asking Dib what he was doing near her room and why he wasn’t in the shower. “I…there were lasers, and the gnomes chased me longer than I expected. And Zim, he… he seemed happy for some reason… but instead of that making him less insane it seemed to make it all worse! And the pigs HAUNT me, Gaz.” Gaz turned to look at Dib. He was using a tree branch as a make-shift cane and was indeed rather disheveled. He had twigs and dirt in his hair, his glasses were cracked, his face was swollen… “Wait are those bites on your arm?” Gaz pointed. “Oh,” Dib sighed, “Yeah. Zim told Gir I was a giant burrito in disguise.” He shuddered. Gaz hid a smirk. “Whatever, go take a shower…and you might want to get some disinfectant on those bites; who knows what Gir has put in his mouth.” And with that Dib sighed and hobbled to their bathroom.

Gaz spun in her computer chair while she listened to her clan members plot an attack on an opposing team. Could her time with the alien have improved his attitude? Normally his outlook on the world was almost bleaker than hers—and that was saying something. Maybe if he kept on this way some of her intelligence would rub off on him and he could actually have a successful plan. But, did she really want that? He could probably kill Dib, and while he was one of the craziest, most annoying people on the planet, he was basically all the family she had. Sure, their dad would come play games with her and make dinner for them once in a while, but most of the time it was Dib who took care of her— _of course I don’t NEED to be taken care of_ —she thought, but Dib’s efforts were still appreciated. So, while Zim could maim her brother, she would never allow Zim to do any real harm…to Dib at least. The rest of the world didn’t concern her very much.

Gaz was brought back to reality by the battle screams of her team mates as they attacked the enemy. She quickly turned to attention to them and soon they crushed the enemy. After a while, she leaned back in her chair and popped her knuckles and informed her group that she had to log off for the night. She took off her headset and shut down her computer. It was about dinner time and she was starving. She went downstairs and saw Dib with his laptop sitting at the table. He looked cleaner at least, but still very beat up. Gaz sat down across from him.

“Dad sent a video message saying he wouldn’t make it to dinner tonight, so would you rather get pizza or have the robot make us something?” Dib asked Gaz without looking up from his screen. Gaz opened one eye. “Do you even have to ask at this point, Dib?” He sighed, “No, not really. I ordered us two pizzas already. They should be here any minute.” Gaz shrugged. “Oh, well, alright. So, what are you doing? Anything I’d care about?” This made Dib look up, but only for a second to see if she was joking. “Oh, um, well, no I guess not: just my normal save-the-human-race stuff.” His lack of ranting was almost disturbing to Gaz, but her brother was basically one of the weirdest people ever, so that wasn’t too shocking. Especially since one time he didn’t leave his room for a few years—let alone talk to anyone.

After a few minutes of silence, the doorbell rang and Gaz got up and stood by Dib until he handed her a $20 and then opened the door. The pizza guy seemed pretty oblivious to her presence and his view of her was possibly blocked by the pizzas he was holding, so she simply snatched the pizzas and threw the bill at the guy while he was trying to figure out what happened and he almost jumped as she closed the door on him. “Um, thanks,” said a dorky teenage voice through the door as Gaz dropped the pizzas on the table next to Dib’s laptop. She took one of the pizza boxes and went and sat down in front of the TV with it and watched a Bloaty’s Pizza promotional cartoon while Dib munched his pizza as he sat at his computer. “Dib,” Gaz said, “don’t stare at that thing all night. We should leave earlier tomorrow. And you have homework due tomorrow.” “Gaz, I did my homework before I went to spy on Zim. You know how important education is to me…even though I’m not sure a study on average grass length can really be called educational,” Dib muttered in frustration. But, he relented and closed his laptop and took the other pizza box and sat by Gaz while they ate in silence.

Back at Zim’s base, Gir was giggling watching the creepy monkey show and stuffing his face with Crazy Taco food while Zim sat next to him and ate some Irken pudding and a waffle. There was still a bit of syrup on the walls, but visible only if one examined them very closely. Zim noticed a small amount behind the couch and scraped it off with his waffle and ate it, cringing slightly but pushing past. “Someday, I need to experiment with other filthy human food. My squeedlysplooch is sick of processing waffles.” Gir nodded frantically, flinging grease from the food all around. “YOU WANNA TACO MASTER?” Gir asked excitedly and began poking him in the face with a wrapped taco. Zim caught a whiff of it and recoiled, slapping it out of Gir’s hand. “Not today, Gir.” Gir looked down sadly at the unwanted taco now on their living room floor and sighed. Zim groaned and got up from the couch and, side stepping the floor taco, went to his sleeping quarters. As soon as he was out of sight, Gir nonchalantly picked up the taco and ate it, wrapper and all.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ah... GIR is my spirit animal. xD


	6. FOOD FIGHT

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Don't give in to peer pressure, kids. (I think the chapter name is self-explanatory) ;)

School the next day was much like the previous one for the small, purple-haired girl. Mz. Bitters ranted about doom, Gaz took her “bathroom break” when she couldn’t take it anymore, she played her GS3, but this time when she got to the bathroom she heard girls giggling… she decided that she almost preferred Zim’s plaintive screaming. She tried to ignore them, but she heard them mention Zim. “Oh yeah he’s such a little freak. Like, my friend is in a class with him and she said that one of her guy friends got tired of him and said he was going to beat him up during lunch break.” Gaz heard more giggles. “Yeah he totally deserves a good punch in the face or two… it might even be an improvement.” A third girl spoke, saying “Yeah he’s a super weirdo, but I still say Dib is the biggest freak. At least Zim doesn’t claim anyone is an alien or bigfoot or whatever.” The first girl snorted. “Yeah, or maybe Dib’s sister. She’s so creepy. Like, she just ignores everyone and yells when anyone tries to talk to her.” “Oh totally. Like, she punched my brother for asking her what level she was on in that stupid piggy game.” “Yeah, and what’s with her clothes?” Gaz could take it no longer. She un-paused her game and walked into the bathroom like she hadn’t heard a thing. Immediately all gossip ceased. Sure they may have thought she was a freak, but they knew better than to call her one to her face. Everyone knew Gaz had a nasty temper and an even nastier right hook.

The girls glanced at her then said their goodbyes. _Stupid piggy game?_ Gaz thought to herself as she leaned against the cleanest spot of bathroom wall she could find, _what is wrong with those girls? Don’t they have their own lives to complain about?_ She scoffed as she beat a level. _They’re lucky I let them live. If I were Zim, maybe I would’ve blasted them—or launched them into space!_ She smiled at the thought. _But I don’t have that kind of tech, and these girls’ gross parents would probably wonder what happened to them…_ Gaz sighed. She wondered what Zim would do. Obviously he didn’t care about how parents felt…but maybe he’d try a fear tactic? Or hypnotism? Thinking about these things only confused the girl further, so she decided to stop and when she returned to class she put her GS3 away and drew the rest of the period instead.

As the bell rang Gaz looked at the clock and noticed it was noon. _Noon…_ Those girls had mentioned someone was planning to beat Zim up during their lunch break, hadn’t they? Depending on the guy, maybe he might stand a chance? She scoffed. Zim always flip-flopped. Sometimes he would just take the bullying and the kid would later be discovered missing, or he would beat them senseless depending on his mood. She usually preferred the latter because it was satisfying to see these little bullies put in their place, but the same could be said for Zim. Sometimes he just needed a beating.

While Gaz gathered her things and headed to the mess hall she debated whether or not to warn Zim about the possible attack. On one hand, he could be prepared and more likely take the bully down, but on the other she could get a front row seat to Zim getting his little green butt whopped. But then she remembered those nasty girls and decided they needed to be shown a lesson more than Zim. Plus if this guy chickened out, Zim would be extra jumpy all lunch break.

She didn’t go out of her way to find the little alien, but as she stood in the lunch line she heard him a few places in front of her arguing with the lunch lady. “But I was promised pudding! Not MAYONAISE with sugar on it! You filthy worm babies sicken the mighty Zim!” The lunch lady was silent. “So do you want the pudding or not?” she croaked. “FOOL!” Zim shouted, “Zim will destroy this putrid planet! I would rather be digested by the horrible Snarfblorch than put such a foul thing on my plate!” And she heard Zim’s little stomping feet march away as the lunch lady muttered “I’ll take that as a no I guess…NEXT.”

When Gaz was in front of the lunch lady who had a ladle full of “pudding” she figured it was best to not eat, so she waved her hand and the lunch lady dropped her spoon back into the sludge looking rather dejected. Dib hadn’t sat down yet but Gaz knew she would probably be better off if she didn’t sit by the Irken again incase Dib got too suspicious, so instead Gaz walked by the table where Zim sat and pretended to drop something while she muttered “Zim. Hey.” Zim turned to her while poking the cafeteria “food” with a spoon, “yes, Gaz-human? What are you doing?” “Shut up, Zim. And don’t look at me. I heard from some kids that some guy is planning to beat you up soon. Just thought I’d give you a heads up. I don’t really care who wins, I just wanna see some pain.” And she stood up again. “But, why should the mighty Zim trust you, dirt-baby?” Gaz opened one eye while she picked her tray back up off the table, “that’s not my problem, now is it?” And with that she wandered off to find a table.

Gaz found a seat at a table a few tables away that was fairly empty. She didn’t really care who was sitting there; she just wanted a good view to see if anyone was going to get beat up soon. “Good idea, Gaz.” She turned to see her brother setting down his tray across from her, “this way we can make sure Zim isn’t up to anything but not be too suspicious.” “Whatever,” Gaz said as she noticed that as soon as Dib was comfortably seated, all other kids who had been sitting there had moved. Dib was oblivious to this change, however and was busy giving Zim his best stink-eye while the little invader poked at his lunch cautiously.

Sure enough, about 10 minutes before lunch period was over, a lump of a boy followed by what Gaz presumed to be his entourage began to walk towards the table Zim was seated at. The girl could see this kid was sort of reluctant to do much, but the group behind him kept egging him on. Finally they reached the table and the kid, Gaz thought was Kerm, cleared his throat. The alien didn’t even seem to notice. Feeling discouraged, Kerm backed away a step, but his friends pushed him back. He opened his mouth. “Hey, freak!” Gaz could hear, though the kid wasn’t shouting very loudly. Still, Zim seemed deaf to the boy’s words.  Exasperated, Kerm pushed Zim’s (still mostly full) food tray onto the alien’s lap.

Zim stood and screamed, clearly audible throughout the whole room, “FOOLISH DIRT MONKEY! LOOK WHAT YOU DID THE MIGHTY ZIM’S SHIRT! FILTH! EVERYWHERE!” Zim used his gloves to try and wipe off the food, but his wiping was very zealous, getting food all over Kerm’s pants and shoes. Up until this point, Kerm looked rather meek for a bully. But as he examined his now filthy shoes, he looked like he could do some damage. He picked up the tray with some flecks of food still on it and hit Zim in the face with it. “These are _new_ shoes!!!” He shouted at the alien, flooring him with that tray. Zim looked shocked, but not too hurt. If nothing else, the Irken could take quite a beating. “I’M SORRY BUT ZIM DID NOT START THIS.. THIS…” He shouted, picking himself off the floor and searching for the right term. Some kids were looking, trying to scoot away from the mess. Zim looked at Gaz. She suggested the phrase “food fight?” She didn’t say it very loudly, but Zim was looking and seemed to read her lips.

“FOOD FIGHT?” He questioned as he brushed off his clothes some more. But, since he was yelling, like always, it sounded more like a suggestion. Several “food fight?!” echoes around the room and was followed by much “FOOD FIGHT!” and kids stood and threw their trays around, mayonnaise flying everywhere. Gaz recoiled at the scene. “Amazing. Zim is using this as a diversion to escape! What a coward.” Dib commented from the table. “Well, we should get out of here. You know what Ms. Bitters does to kids caught in food fights…” Gaz said as she stood and grabbed her brother by the wrist. He let himself be dragged away from the scene while he watched, food beginning to cover every surface, windows had been broken and there was even a kid hanging from one. Gaz looked back and saw Zim was curled under the table looking very confused. Their eyes met for a moment and she motioned for him to get out as well. As soon as she saw him crawling from table to table towards the exit, she hurried out and down the halls with her brother in tow. She hurried to the girls’ bathroom and told Dib to find his own hiding place as she pulled out her GameSlave and headed toward the door.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Seriously. Be cool guys. Don't bully. <3


	7. Call Me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which the evil teacher threatens doom upon all and Gaz gets a new phone

Walking back to class was nerve wracking—or it would’ve been for anyone other than Gaz. She had made sure there was no trace of food of any kind on her and her and Mz. Bitters had a sort of understanding that they would leave each other alone. She hated the old bat, but she could be intimidating and she had quite a lot of power in this awful place. Sure enough, as Gaz entered class and sat, she could actually see the fire in the old teacher’s eyes. She scoured each student carefully and screamed “Detention!” at any child who had food visible on them. They each winced as she shouted in their ears, but it couldn’t be proven that any of them at actually started it, so detention for participation in the food war was all she could do. “I’m going to request that we place cameras in the lunch room.” Mz. Bitters growled at her class. “And the next time someone decides to ruin this building, YOU WILL BURN ALONG WITH IT.” Many children cowered.

Gaz knew Bitters couldn’t kill them, but she would dish out the worst punishments possible. Instead of lecturing about history, Bitters went on another doom rant, and Gaz pulled out her notebook and began to draw. She loved the Razor sword… she began to draw it, adding in her own custom designs. She wondered if there was anything Zim had to make objects from drawings. Maybe she would ask him the next time she went to his house. _How strange,_ Gaz thought _, who would’ve thought I’d be excited to go to that alien freak’s house..?_ She thought about those girls from earlier, _actually maybe some people would expect it. Freaks stick together, right?_ She clenched her fists. She began to draw a picture of her executing those girls with her very own Razor sword. She smirked. Someday those girls would get what was coming to them. She hoped she was there to see it—maybe even be the one to give it to them. Or maybe Zim could use them as some sort of experiment.

The bell rang again at the end of the school day and Gaz was dragging her feet. There was nothing to do at home but she couldn’t go to Zim’s again yet. As she was thinking this, she walked past him at his locker and she looked to see his uniform was clean again. She figured he must have a spare. She wanted to ask when she could go back to his base, but there were too many witnesses here. She slowed her pace to wait for him to gather his things. As she was walking out the building and down the steps, Zim’s familiar apparel appeared out of the corner of her eye. His strut was unmistakable even if he had a change of clothes, and she watched him in amusement. When the crowd of students thinned as they all went their separate ways, Gaz caught up to the alien.

As she matched his pace, he turned to see her. He looked momentarily surprised and almost pleased to see her.”Ah, Gaz-human. Come to bask in the mighty Zim’s presence?” He smiled proudly as he walked. Gaz rolled her eyes. She wanted to knock him off his high-horse, so she asked, “Do you only wear one type of outfit?” His strut faltered and he asked “What is that supposed to mean?” She smirked. “Come on, Zim. Normal people wear different clothes every day.” “But…I do that. This is the Irken uniform. What else would I need?” Gaz shrugged. “I’m just saying. It’s pretty weird.” Zim frowned. “But my disguise is genius. Nobody else seems suspicious of my apparel.” Gaz smiled, knowing she was getting under his skin. “Oh sure, you say that, but do you really know? You know girls like to gossip.” Zim looked disturbed by this news, but then he looked confused as he said “But, Gaz-human, you and Dib wear your uniforms daily, don’t you?” The girl opened her mouth to counter him, but she couldn’t think of anything. He was right, after all. She had worn basically the same outfit for a year or so with some minor changes here and there, and Dib certainly hadn’t bothered to vary with his wardrobe. “Yeah, but Dib is crazy. People judge him for it too. And people aren’t dumb enough to question my appearance, Zim.” She said finally.

Zim contemplated in silence for a while before he noticed they were approaching his base when he asked, “So, when shall you have the honor of joining the mighty Zim for more training?” Gaz wanted to say right then, but she knew she couldn’t spend every day over there. Dib would eventually figure it out and she wasn’t sure he’d be able to comprehend what was going on and go even crazier than he already was which wasn’t a pleasant image. But she wanted so much more from the alien base; so much tech left to discover and exploit. She sighed. “Maybe tomorrow, I don’t know.” Zim looked down at his shiny black combat boots and did his best to hide any disappointment that might have showed. He did a fairly poor job but Gaz was too busy attempting to hide her own while daydreaming of what she’d play with next in that base to notice his reaction to her words.

The alien finally broke their somber silence by clearing his throat and saying “Well. Tomorrow then. Zim shall await your arrival. Is there…any particular type of training the Gaz-human wishes to try next?” He added, trying to sound casual about the whole affair. Gaz’s mind raced with questions and different ideas, but she felt like he was baiting her into showing excitement, so she simply said “eh. Maybe I’ll think of something when I get here.” Zim’s eyes narrowed but he said nothing to imply he knew her thoughts. “Very well. I shall see you then.” And he turned to his house and proceeded to walk on. Suddenly, a hand grabbed his shoulder. “Wait!”

He stopped and turned to face the disturbance. “Yes, earth pig?” Gaz shuffled her feet and looked down as if her shoelaces were utterly fascinating. “Um, is there any way to contact you if I think of anything I want to do or ask you?” Zim scratched his chin thoughtfully before reaching to his bag and shuffling around in it before handing her a little device. “Take this. Only be CAREFUL with it, human. This technology is far more advanced than your kind can comprehend... and I only have a few left.” Gaz took it and looked at it a second before “this just looks like some lame walkie-talkie.” Zim puffed up. “FOOLISH DIRT MONKEY. THIS IRKEN TECHNOLOGY IS FAR SUPERIOR TO YOUR SILLY LITTLE HANDHELD RADIO. See, you slide this thingy out and there’s a little key-pad so you can just write what you want to say…although it does in fact function as a two way radio paired with mine... but that is beside the point, and I DOUBT VERY HIGHLY THAT YOUR SILLY HUMAN ‘WALKIE-TALKIE’ WORKS ANYWHERE IN THE GALAXY LIKE THESE. But just, type in something here and it will be sent to my communicator as well as the base’s computer. Now release Zim’s shoulder. I’m sure you have better things to do than watch the mighty ZIM clean bacon out of the sink.” She snickered and let him go and told him to have fun with Gir. She heard him mutter to himself as he walked up the steps and as she continued her way and was out of sight, she heard Gir scream incoherently and Zim groan a greeting before the door closed behind his robot parents.


End file.
